Don't feel sorry for me this is just part of the grieving process...
My Beth Moore study posed this question/statement: Oh, Beloved, surely you've found yourself still standing after a time when the enemy came seeking your slaughter! Testify here of his foiled plans.
Satan thought Faith's diagnosis would tempt and turn me away from God. Then he thought that the need for ECMO would, nope...so he tried surgery with a silo bag, nope...a blood clot, nope and then cardiac arrest. What Satan didn't know and I didn't truly know is that God was standing with me the whole time. I found out the night that Faith coded that He was with me the whole time. He wrapped his arms around me and told me it's going to be ok. Your heart will ache but your precious baby will be with me healthy and whole in Heaven. I held my baby as she slipped away. The saddest moment but the most comforting moment. I never spoke out loud but I talked to her in my head. Her spirit now in Heaven free of saddness and pain. That moment has changed me as a mother, wife, and person. Sure I still get scared. But I know now more than ever before that my God is a BIG God and He does good work. I hope to someday be able to put into words what I have learned from all of this without using cliches. To speak from the heart, but the words are hard to find. That last night with her replays in my head often. Brings me to tears to think about it. But I can't help but think that there is a reason or purpose that it replays. Something that I am not yet aware of that I am supposed to see in that moment. An intensely personal moment in my life, but I am not afraid to share it.
I hope my words can comfort someone, bring them peace, help others in someway. I just felt the need to share this.
Love,
Amy
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Long, long time
Wow it's been a long time since our last post. We were remembering Faith in the Smoky Mtn. National Park. Since then my nephew David was born a tiny 5lbs 5oz on April 30th. He's growing so fast and his momma and daddy love him so!
My sister, her fiance, nephew, Abby and I went down to FL. We went to a CDH conference and got to meet David. It was super hot already in May!!
Steve finished the school year and has a job for next year woohoo! Praise God! It's so nice to have him home and to get to hang out as a family.
We have been swimming and hanging out with friends. Our run Journey to Faith was a success. On Friday, June 18 we drove down to Ann Arbor and marked the route. Stayed the night with the Jacoby's (Faith's primary care nurse) and had a great meal and even better entertainment. A storm blew through and knocked down a power line in front of their house. Well really out in the road but it was crazy to be that close to a downed power line. So we got to call 911 and hang out in the dark :) In the morning we got up and headed to Ann Arbor and took some pictures at the Ronald McDonald House.
The first day of the run was amazing! I don't think we could have asked for a smoother day (maybe a few degrees cooler). The Saranac High School Cross Country team did an amazing job and so did all of the other participants. Day two was a little bumpy at the start but things quickly smoothed out and we had another fantastic day! The PR people for the Ronald McDonald House called and said that the newspaper was going to do a story. We were excited about that! Then at 2:30pm as I was biking while Tricia and Anna were running we got a call from WZZM13 our local ABC TV station. They met up with us with about one mile left and filmed us running to the cemetery. Steve and I led everyone the last mile to the cemetery, we got a flower and placed it on Faith's headstone. Then we hugged and circled up for prayer. It was a great ending to a fantastic weekend! WZZM13 did an interview and we were on the 11pm news coverage. They did a super job on telling our story. So Journey to Faith 2010 was a success and we met our fundraising goal of $2,500!
Since then we celebrate Abby's first birthday party. My mom flew up from FL and stayed for about a week. At Abby's one year well baby check she woke up with a fever and was diagnosed with an ear infection. Then Saturday she woke up with a gunky eye and Sunday she had a yucky cough! We are still trying to kick the cough. She has a recheck for her ears on July 15 and two weeks after that a weight recheck since she was in the 10th%.
We have been playing in the yard lots with Abby and last night she was practicing standing up. Today she took one step on her own! Our days of a walking baby aren't far away.
Steve has been helping to motivate me and has been running with me. I am finally up to running 1.5 miles and walking a mile or more afterwards. I want to run my first 5K in 10 years sometime soon. Maybe in September. So I was thinking about blogging about that. I know its a little boring but hey maybe it will be motivation.
Hope everyone out there is doing well in blogger land!
My sister, her fiance, nephew, Abby and I went down to FL. We went to a CDH conference and got to meet David. It was super hot already in May!!
Steve finished the school year and has a job for next year woohoo! Praise God! It's so nice to have him home and to get to hang out as a family.
We have been swimming and hanging out with friends. Our run Journey to Faith was a success. On Friday, June 18 we drove down to Ann Arbor and marked the route. Stayed the night with the Jacoby's (Faith's primary care nurse) and had a great meal and even better entertainment. A storm blew through and knocked down a power line in front of their house. Well really out in the road but it was crazy to be that close to a downed power line. So we got to call 911 and hang out in the dark :) In the morning we got up and headed to Ann Arbor and took some pictures at the Ronald McDonald House.
The first day of the run was amazing! I don't think we could have asked for a smoother day (maybe a few degrees cooler). The Saranac High School Cross Country team did an amazing job and so did all of the other participants. Day two was a little bumpy at the start but things quickly smoothed out and we had another fantastic day! The PR people for the Ronald McDonald House called and said that the newspaper was going to do a story. We were excited about that! Then at 2:30pm as I was biking while Tricia and Anna were running we got a call from WZZM13 our local ABC TV station. They met up with us with about one mile left and filmed us running to the cemetery. Steve and I led everyone the last mile to the cemetery, we got a flower and placed it on Faith's headstone. Then we hugged and circled up for prayer. It was a great ending to a fantastic weekend! WZZM13 did an interview and we were on the 11pm news coverage. They did a super job on telling our story. So Journey to Faith 2010 was a success and we met our fundraising goal of $2,500!
Since then we celebrate Abby's first birthday party. My mom flew up from FL and stayed for about a week. At Abby's one year well baby check she woke up with a fever and was diagnosed with an ear infection. Then Saturday she woke up with a gunky eye and Sunday she had a yucky cough! We are still trying to kick the cough. She has a recheck for her ears on July 15 and two weeks after that a weight recheck since she was in the 10th%.
We have been playing in the yard lots with Abby and last night she was practicing standing up. Today she took one step on her own! Our days of a walking baby aren't far away.
Steve has been helping to motivate me and has been running with me. I am finally up to running 1.5 miles and walking a mile or more afterwards. I want to run my first 5K in 10 years sometime soon. Maybe in September. So I was thinking about blogging about that. I know its a little boring but hey maybe it will be motivation.
Hope everyone out there is doing well in blogger land!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Book Drive 2010
Wow we just want to say a HUGE Thank you to everyone who helped out with the book drive this year! We have been blessed with amazing people in our lives and now all of us are passing on the blessing to families with children in the hospital at Mott's and DeVos Children's hospitals.
In 2009, we gathered 370 books for Mott Children's Hospital at the University of Michigan. This year we added plush animals and shifted to only new books.
Thank you to all who donated:
The Robinson Family
The Olivarez Family
The Crawford Family
The Heald Family
Desiree Casillas and Matt Steingass
The Price Family
Tom and Cindy Miles
The Wheeler Family
The Feazell Family
The Baker Family
The Kruskamp Family
The Michel Family
C & R Family Chiropractic (paitents donated too)
Amanda Dickens
The Wilkins Family
Brenda Page and Family
Amber and Milena Viau
Jennifer Grace and Taylor Herington
Lou Miller
Erin Zimmer
Tressa Doepker
Shari Ebner
Marisa Grace Mogg
The Claybaugh Family
Amanda Duncan-Cyr
The Ansell Family
The Carroll Family
The Machuta Family
The Klynstra Family
Meghan, Jason, and Brianna Hathaway
Pat and Jim Hathaway
The Austhof Family
Jane Palmondon
Chris Johnston
Jan Fortino
Mike Evans
The Gardner Family
The McCarthy Family
Saranac Community Schools
The list is not complete...I may have missed someone. If I have I am so sorry and please let me know.
We delivered 130 books and 55 plush animals to Helen DeVos Children's hospital!
We will be delivering 168 books and more plush animals to Mott Children's Hospital on Friday!
Again we can never thank you all enough for your donations. Without you we would not be able to do this. You are bringing hope and a smile to children's faces!
Love,
The Miles Family
Monday, February 22, 2010
Birthday Weekend!
Well it's official...I'm 28! This past weekend we got some books ready for the book drive with stickers on them and the thank you's all ready. Then we went back to MP, saw Avatar, visited my Grandma Grace, ate at the Pixie and I went to Women's Comedy Night at a church in MP. It was a very busy day! But lots of fun. We stayed at Steve's parents house and forgot to turn up the water heater so Sunday morning we drove back to GR to shower real quick before church. Sunday was just as busy! Drive, church, lunch, made cupcakes, 8th confirmation class, Meijer and then home.
I was so tired I took two naps today while Abby slept! :) I must say it was pretty nice!
Our church just finished a great series called Victorious Secrets. You can listen to it online! http://cornerchurch.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=68901 After church I went to the prayer corner and asked for prayers. I have been worrying lately, more than normal. Worrying about what I will do to keep my family safe if there is a fire or if Abby chokes. Abby has been sleeping on her belly with her face buried in her hands. I have been praying for God to keep her safe. I need prayers to stop worrying. Give my worries up to God. I thank God for every day with Abby and Steve and pray that we will have many more.
I get the feeling that my worries will always increase around this time of year, because last year when I was pregnant with Abby around this time I was worrying about all kinds of crazy stuff. Faith's birthday is coming up March 6th. Steve is costuming for Star Wars night at the Griffins game. Then Jenn, Taylor, Lou and his son and I are all going to the game. Abby is going to stay home with a sitter (which we have yet to find)!
We hope that you all have a great week!
Take care,
Amy, Steve, ^Faith^, and Abby Miles
I was so tired I took two naps today while Abby slept! :) I must say it was pretty nice!
Our church just finished a great series called Victorious Secrets. You can listen to it online! http://cornerchurch.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=68901 After church I went to the prayer corner and asked for prayers. I have been worrying lately, more than normal. Worrying about what I will do to keep my family safe if there is a fire or if Abby chokes. Abby has been sleeping on her belly with her face buried in her hands. I have been praying for God to keep her safe. I need prayers to stop worrying. Give my worries up to God. I thank God for every day with Abby and Steve and pray that we will have many more.
I get the feeling that my worries will always increase around this time of year, because last year when I was pregnant with Abby around this time I was worrying about all kinds of crazy stuff. Faith's birthday is coming up March 6th. Steve is costuming for Star Wars night at the Griffins game. Then Jenn, Taylor, Lou and his son and I are all going to the game. Abby is going to stay home with a sitter (which we have yet to find)!
We hope that you all have a great week!
Take care,
Amy, Steve, ^Faith^, and Abby Miles
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Birthday week!
What a week of birthdays! Friends birthdays, CDH angel and sibling birthdays and then mine!
Where has the month gone already! Abby is still doing the wounded soldier crawl (half an army crawl) and gets around really well. If I am making baby food in the other room she cries at the sound and tries to find me. She's a cutie!
She is eating three meals a day. The last few days she has been napping well which is new!
My sister in law is getting closer to the 28 week mark. Continued prayers that they stay pregnant and baby David continues to grow stronger. (They are dealing with gestational diabetes, incompetent cervix and borderline pre-eclampsia).
We are still collecting new books and plush for the hospitals. The books can be sent to 2275 Fawnwood Dr. SE, KEntwood, MI 49508
We are also doing a fundraiser for the Ronald McDonald House of Ann Arbor by selling Party Lite candles through the 26th of Feb if you are interested.
Not much else going on! Hope that all is well your way.
Love,
The Miles Family
Where has the month gone already! Abby is still doing the wounded soldier crawl (half an army crawl) and gets around really well. If I am making baby food in the other room she cries at the sound and tries to find me. She's a cutie!
She is eating three meals a day. The last few days she has been napping well which is new!
My sister in law is getting closer to the 28 week mark. Continued prayers that they stay pregnant and baby David continues to grow stronger. (They are dealing with gestational diabetes, incompetent cervix and borderline pre-eclampsia).
We are still collecting new books and plush for the hospitals. The books can be sent to 2275 Fawnwood Dr. SE, KEntwood, MI 49508
We are also doing a fundraiser for the Ronald McDonald House of Ann Arbor by selling Party Lite candles through the 26th of Feb if you are interested.
Not much else going on! Hope that all is well your way.
Love,
The Miles Family
Monday, February 1, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
From New Orleans to Orlando
Abby and I successfully made it to New Orleans and spent the last week with the Michel family. It was AMAZING! I really couldn't believe how at home we felt and it felt like we had known eachother a lifetime.
We enjoyed some Popeye's, gumbo, grilled red fish, beneits from THE Cafe Du Monde downtown New Orleans, King cake and many other treats. We went and had the girls' pictures taken at Penny's in their tutu's and headbands. They turned out sooooo cute. The pictures should be in the first week of Feb. Thursday we went into the city and delivered bags to the NICU in memory of Drake Alexander Michel for Project Sweet Pea. Then we went into the French Quarter and walked and walked and walked. It was very interesting to walk around the city and just take it all in. Friday we were supposed to relax but went shopping instead. We had a fantastic time and I don't think it could have been more perfect.
Abby did well on the plane rides...though its a little difficult to nurse an almost 7 month old on the plane :)
We arrived here in Orlando on Saturday around noon. We hung out at Bob and Carol's house (my bro's) and made them dinner. It was good to see them again, since its been almost 6 months! Today we are celebrating my dad's birthday early. Sometime this week we might do Disney, since Abby is free!
Our friends had their twin boys on Jan 21, 2010 at 35 weeks. They are both doing pretty well. Just working on gaining some weight. Please keep them in your prayers.
Talk to you all later!!
Pictures will come after Thursday..I forgot the cord to the camera.
Love and kisses from FL!
Amy and Abby
We enjoyed some Popeye's, gumbo, grilled red fish, beneits from THE Cafe Du Monde downtown New Orleans, King cake and many other treats. We went and had the girls' pictures taken at Penny's in their tutu's and headbands. They turned out sooooo cute. The pictures should be in the first week of Feb. Thursday we went into the city and delivered bags to the NICU in memory of Drake Alexander Michel for Project Sweet Pea. Then we went into the French Quarter and walked and walked and walked. It was very interesting to walk around the city and just take it all in. Friday we were supposed to relax but went shopping instead. We had a fantastic time and I don't think it could have been more perfect.
Abby did well on the plane rides...though its a little difficult to nurse an almost 7 month old on the plane :)
We arrived here in Orlando on Saturday around noon. We hung out at Bob and Carol's house (my bro's) and made them dinner. It was good to see them again, since its been almost 6 months! Today we are celebrating my dad's birthday early. Sometime this week we might do Disney, since Abby is free!
Our friends had their twin boys on Jan 21, 2010 at 35 weeks. They are both doing pretty well. Just working on gaining some weight. Please keep them in your prayers.
Talk to you all later!!
Pictures will come after Thursday..I forgot the cord to the camera.
Love and kisses from FL!
Amy and Abby
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Off to New Orleans we go!
Abby and I are heading out to New Orleans on Monday to meet a family that is very dear to our hearts. The Michel family is welcoming us into their home. We met them online at CHERUBS, a CDH support group. We stayed in contact as our babies were due just days apart. Their son, Drake, decided to come about 2 weeks early! Faith had other plans and was not budging! We kept in contact while our kids were in the NICU. Then when our world came crashing down as Faith passed away..we packed up and headed home. The next day, Sunday, April 6th, 2008 Drake passed away. I was in total shock. This was not happening. Christy and I continued to stay in touch and talked often. Journeying through our grief together. Months passed. Christy had started trying to conceive again. Months passed again. Steve and I started trying to conceive. 2 months passed. Another negative test. Christy called the day after her birthday to tell me she was PREGNANT! We were so excited for her! She told me to test again and that maybe it was too early to tell before. So the next morning I tested again and it was positive. We were pregnant together again!
We talked often during the pregnancy and were so excited when we found out that the babies were healthy and that we were both expecting girls!!! Did I mention that Abby was due July 4th and Celia was due July7th? God works in mysterious ways. Our girls were born about 33 hours apart!
So now we finally get to meet up! We are going to get the girls pictures taken together, shop, eat and have fun.
I just love sharing the story of how our lives have come together and stayed together. I hate CDH and wish that we didn't have to meet this way. But meeting such an amazing person and sharing this journey with her is priceless.
Love you Christy!
See you Monday!!
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Saturday, Jan 23rd Abby and I are flying to Florida to see her grandparents, Aunt and Uncle, and family. We are arriving on Jacob Robert Grace's birthday and angel day. His first year in Heaven. We know that he is playing with his cousin Faith and so many other babies. Please pray for peace that day. It will be difficult for our family.
We talked often during the pregnancy and were so excited when we found out that the babies were healthy and that we were both expecting girls!!! Did I mention that Abby was due July 4th and Celia was due July7th? God works in mysterious ways. Our girls were born about 33 hours apart!
So now we finally get to meet up! We are going to get the girls pictures taken together, shop, eat and have fun.
I just love sharing the story of how our lives have come together and stayed together. I hate CDH and wish that we didn't have to meet this way. But meeting such an amazing person and sharing this journey with her is priceless.
Love you Christy!
See you Monday!!
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Saturday, Jan 23rd Abby and I are flying to Florida to see her grandparents, Aunt and Uncle, and family. We are arriving on Jacob Robert Grace's birthday and angel day. His first year in Heaven. We know that he is playing with his cousin Faith and so many other babies. Please pray for peace that day. It will be difficult for our family.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Friends of Faith Book Drive
Happy New Year to everyone!
2009 Blessed us with the birth of our second daughter Abby Grace Miles on June 29, 2009 at 10:58pm. She is a happy and healthy 6 month old today.
Now that 2010 is here I would like to tell you about our planned events for 2010 in memory of our Sweet Pea, Faith Grace Miles (3-6 to 4-5-08).
Friends of Faith Book Drive
Donate new books or new plush animals this year! We apologize but we are not accepting used books this year. Last year we filled the Family Resource center at Mott's Children's Hospital with over 300 new and used books. Thank you to everyone who donated!
Our focus this year will be on collecting new books and new plush animals to donate to families with a child or children in the NICU/PICU. Depending on how many items we receive we would like to donate some items to DeVos Children's Hospital here in Grand Rapids, MI and some to Mott Children's Hospital in Ann Arbor, MI.
How you can help: Purchase a new book or plush animal and send it to Amy and Steve Miles, 2275 Fawnwood Dr. SE, Kentwood, MI 49508
Right now Kohl's has Dr. Seuss books and plush animals for $5 to support Kohl's Cares For Kids. So if you purchase one of these and donate it to the Friends of Faith book drive you are helping children TWICE!!!!
Dr. Seuss stories are dear to our hearts, because we read them to Faith each night.
Thank you to anyone who can help! We really appreciate it!
Hugs and love from Michigan,
Amy, Steve, ^Faith^, and Abby Miles
2009 Blessed us with the birth of our second daughter Abby Grace Miles on June 29, 2009 at 10:58pm. She is a happy and healthy 6 month old today.
Now that 2010 is here I would like to tell you about our planned events for 2010 in memory of our Sweet Pea, Faith Grace Miles (3-6 to 4-5-08).
Friends of Faith Book Drive
Donate new books or new plush animals this year! We apologize but we are not accepting used books this year. Last year we filled the Family Resource center at Mott's Children's Hospital with over 300 new and used books. Thank you to everyone who donated!
Our focus this year will be on collecting new books and new plush animals to donate to families with a child or children in the NICU/PICU. Depending on how many items we receive we would like to donate some items to DeVos Children's Hospital here in Grand Rapids, MI and some to Mott Children's Hospital in Ann Arbor, MI.
How you can help: Purchase a new book or plush animal and send it to Amy and Steve Miles, 2275 Fawnwood Dr. SE, Kentwood, MI 49508
Right now Kohl's has Dr. Seuss books and plush animals for $5 to support Kohl's Cares For Kids. So if you purchase one of these and donate it to the Friends of Faith book drive you are helping children TWICE!!!!
Dr. Seuss stories are dear to our hearts, because we read them to Faith each night.
Thank you to anyone who can help! We really appreciate it!
Hugs and love from Michigan,
Amy, Steve, ^Faith^, and Abby Miles
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